meinfatkampf

height - 158 cm / 5'2"
starting weight - 63.6 kg / 140.2 lbs. (BMI 25.5)
December 1 goal weight - 55 kg / 121.25 lbs. (BMI 22.0)
January 1 goal weight - 46 kg / 101 lbs. (BMI 18.4)

starting measurements:
bust - 92 cm / 36.2 in
waist - 75 cm / 29.5 in
hips - 93 cm / 36.6 in
upper arm - 25 cm / 9.84 in
upper leg - 51 cm / 20.1 in
calf - 38 cm / 14.9 in

December 4 measurements:
bust - 91 cm / 35.8 in
waist - 70 cm / 27.5 in
hips - 92 cm / 36.2 in
upper arm - 24 cm / 9.4 in
upper leg - 50 cm / 19.7 in
calf - 36 cm / 14.2 in

Getting back on track.

The last couple of days I've just pigged out on everything in sight. I was doing great, doing great... then the night before this "Thanksgiving" thing I freaked out and ate tons of junk. Repeat on Sunday, repeat yesterday. What-?! Well, I gained back a lot of weight really fast, unsurprisingly. I was 128 a few days ago but this morning? 134. So I'll postpone weighing and measuring as I was going to do today, as it's December 1st, because I don't want to discourage myself too much. I'm really stressing out about this JLPT test and I'm totally PMSing too, which I realised when I checked my calendar. The fact that I skipped the gym last night to watch several-years-old Japanese doramas on mysoju instead was another clue, especially when I couldn't stop crying watching it (and it wasn't even sad, just touching).

I can definitely get to 120 by January 1, but I want to try to get to 110 (or under ;P). Is it possible...??? If I work my butt off. Maybe. Even eating around 700 calories a day and working out regularly I could only lose 10 pounds in November. :/

Days that will fuck things up and what to do:

December 6 - after the JLPT test, my friends and I are meeting up (a) for tarts at the Berry Cafe and then (b) to have drinks. Maybe I can skip the tarts, because my test actually lasts much longer than theirs, I am the only one doing Level 1. I think I will do that. I wanted to treat myself but I've been "treating" myself for 3 days now and look at where it got me...

December 8 - work end-of-year party at the school. I think I will go for the speeches and the photos and then quickly beg off and skip the food. Not worth it.

December ?? - bounenkai (end-of-year party) for my other school, and the French and English teachers for school 1 will probably go out to dinner as they did last year. I may skip both. It doesn't look good for me to do that but I did go last year.

December 18 - going out to dinner with my friend before she goes to America. but she's dieting seriously too and so I am sure she will be down with eating light and low-cal :)

December 19 - two events for one of my favourite actors - a tea party and then a dinner party. Ugh... Well the events together are $300 so it would be sad not to eat anything, but I am not sure what I'll do. :(

December 23 - Yasuka has another event up in Sendai and I was thinking of doing a one-night stay in Sendai so I can check out the illuminations in the city center afterwards, and just take the Shinkansen back to Tokyo the next morning. Well, the hotel will probably come with a washoku (Japanese food) set dinner... I may eat this... ;P

December 25 - I have a date for Christmas with Kei-san. Well, I can't not eat because he's gonna take me to some fancy restaurant in Shinjuku (or so he said before). So this day I'll have to eat.

Multiple times that my friend Sarah will stay over - I was able to not eat even with her around last month so I can do it again. It's really awkward and I feel horribly embarrassed but I can do it.


As thinspiration... just thinking about wanting to be a lot smaller the next time I meet the guys I like!!! ( babies )



Strategies!!!

* Keep on keepin' on with my eating plan for November, it works pretty well. The problem will be adding structure since I won't have work most of the month. My plan is basically eating very small amounts of food at several-hour intervals during the day. Basically just enough to give me the energy I need for whatever I am doing. Eat mostly raw fruits, vegetables, seeds and nuts, with a little bit of other stuff e.g. a SoyJoy bar or a soy yogurt here and there for protein. (and of course, buttloads of coffee ;P)

* Figure out something that works for ah, being regular... this has been a huge problem for me ever since I took some sort of fucked up diet pills a few years ago. :( Nothing seems to work except for copious amounts of over-the-counter medicines but I am pretty sure those will only make the problem worse because they are less and less effective as I continue taking them.

* Continue my current work-out plan at the gym and increase the intensity of the interval training I'm doing for cardio.

* Once I'm done with the test, I can use that time I've been spending only on studying and start skating again. It's expensive though, so I will probably only go 2-3 times a week.

* Go to doctor and get tested properly for allergies and asthma. This may help with weight loss, I dunno, probably not but I need to. :P

* Continue with current supplements and maybe expand them? I currently take calcium, Vitamin C, fish oil and a multi-vitamin.

* Begin additional exercises at home to tone up flabbiest areas. I'm actually already doing this twice a day but I need a little more structure and to expand it more.

* Other stuff goes here when I think of it.

FAITO!!!!!!!!!

height - 158 cm / 5'2"
starting weight - 67.9 kg / 149.69 lbs. (BMI 27.2)
October 30 goal weight - 54 kg / 119 lbs.

starting measurements:
bust - 97 cm / 38 in
waist - 79 cm / 31 in
hips - 97 cm / 38 in
upper arm - 26 cm / 10.2 in
upper leg - 53 cm / 20.8 in
calf - 39 cm / 15.35 in

November 1 results
ending weight - 63.6 kg / 140.2 lbs (BMI 25.5)

ending measurements:
bust - 92 cm / 36.2 in
waist - 75 cm / 29.5 in
hips - 93 cm / 36.6 in
upper arm - 25 cm / 9.84 in
upper leg - 51 cm / 20.1 in
calf - 38 cm / 14.9 in


Well... it's a start. Year-end goal time! /o/

Burn calories while you sleep? Results within 24 hours? Suddenly dropping huge amounts of weight? Too good to be true...? Undoubtedly, but I am gonna order these weight-loss pills as soon as I have some money. I'd order them right now with my credit card but they only do cash-on-delivery, wtf...!! ;_; I want these right nowwwww
hxxp://www.callnet-j.jp/24d/index.php (Saw the ad in a fashion mag)

Probably... they won't work, but I am desperate, orz
Besides, if I spend money on diet pills, surely that will motivate me to stop eating crap!!

Oh hay - reviews say it doesn't work at all, hahaha!
hxxp://www.diet-cafe.jp/2009/06/post-629.html

Ja-jan!!!

Square one, I know this place...

How is everybody?

I'm... still fat. Hurray! But I have been working on it again. I just have to stay focused and make some visible progress that will push me to keep going. I'm just glad that both pairs of cute boots I got actually zip up all the way over my calves. The fact that my calves and my thighs are about the same size is not something to be proud of when that same size is "fat."

My current diet, if you can call it that, is this:
Coffee with soy milk for breakfast + a piece of fruit or soy yogurt
Salad for lunch
Coffee after work + a biscuit or scone or half-sandwich if I'm dying
Water

Ha.. ha.. ha.. Of course this only works on work days.

I've also been walking to and from work 3 days a week (the other school is way too far), which is about 3 hours total... But I haven't gone back to the gym yet. Fail.

I got extensions, since my hair was taking so long to grow out. I'm not sure how I feel about them, especially since the hair is a lot coarser than my own, but it's certainly less scraggly than my own hair was at that length.
( here's a pic from my friend's cell phone )

Maybe I will post to cosplay_diets like a winner.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh I'm so frustrated.... x_x

Being this size SUCKS! I am trying so hard to be happy with how I look and just chill a bit, but it's just not possible. Nothing looks good on me, and it's so frustrating.

Japanese size M or American size S = the right size, but wearing it shows that I have a roll of fat around my middle. If I wear a larger size, I drown in it. How can size 4 jeans or a skirt be loose on me? because they are American sizes, and you are supposed to have curves in America. Okay, great... so they are loose on me... but this just makes me look fat because there is extra fabric where curves should be.

Most Japanese clothes are meant to be drapey and a little bulky, because most women here have very slender upper bodies - that is, narrow shoulders, no boobs, small waist. Well, I have boobs ... AND A ROLL OF FAT AROUND MY MIDDLE ... so I end up looking pregnant. At least the pants and skirts fit right because I'm short and have no hips or ass - but because I have A ROLL OF FAT, depending on how they are cut they may look really hideous unless I wear a long top. most Japanese tops are long and drapey (as mentioned) but that's actually really unflattering on me because it looks like a tent and etc. etc. etc.

In two weeks I'll go to America, where all the clothes are going to be huge and either too slutty, too casual/slobby, or just plain ugly.

My only option is to lose lots more weight x__x;; at least 30 pounds!!! Then I can just wear closer-fitting clothes which will be more flattering than tents. But I can't seem to make any headway.

March 13 2008 - 63.9 kg (140.87 lbs) <-- my post-college low weight.
Today I weigh 65.4 kg (144.18 lbs.)

I feel motivated, but I am scared that I can't do this and I am going to be destined to be chubby forever. If I was able to lose 90 pounds, I can lose the last 40, even if I spent a year around the weight I am now... RIGHT???

I hung out with a friend I don't know that well last night. We had so much fun!!!! We totally bonded. She's really into cosplay and we like the same series and would play off each other well because she's tall and likes to play the kakkoi/seme type characters, where I'm short and like the cute or tsundere characters... But I want to be thinner than I was for Anime Expo last year, especially since we'll be doing cosplay in Japan. Of course people will stare at us a lot more because we're foreign (she's German). My friend I cosplayed two of the outfits with at A/X is just busy and not as into it anymore, though I do feel like I'm cheating on her somehow because this girl and I might do two of the same "couples" (Lockon/Tieria from OO and Oshitari/Gakuto from tenipuri) IS THAT DUMB?!

I also need to buy a sewing machine, because one outfit I'm making involves a kimono and a shawl and I want the stitching to be really nice. It didn't matter for the pants I made last summer, lol, though I was vaguely worried that somehow they would fall apart and off my body since I had never made clothes before... XD

(Also, I remember that cosplay is super-expensive... but at least I'm not making doujinshi anymore, which I was doing at the same time last time and completely killed me financially. But I am not skimping, I gotta get a gorgeous wig and quality fabric for Klara-sama!!!)

3 day fruit flush diet

* Mix 1 1/4 cup of whey protein or egg white protein powder (your flavor of choice) with 1 quart (32 ounces) pure water. Shake, blend, or stir, and store in a sealed container in a cool place.

Day 1:
# 8AM -- 6-oz glass of protein mix
# 10AM -- 6-oz glass of protein mix
# NOON -- 6-oz glass of protein mix
# 2PM -- 6-oz glass of protein mix
# 4PM -- 6-oz glass of protein mix
# 6PM -- 3-6 cups raw vegetable salad and 3-6 oz of lean chicken, fish, turkey, or beef or scramble 4-8 egg whites in 1 tsp olive oil. Top the salad with 1-2 tbs olive or flax seed oil (or ½ avocado) and the juice of ½ lemon or lime.

# 8AM -- 1 serving fresh fruit
# 10AM -- 1 serving fresh fruit
# NOON -- 1 serving fresh fruit
# 2PM -- 1 serving fresh fruit
# 4PM -- 1 serving fresh fruit
# 6PM -- 3-6 cups raw vegetable salad. Top the salad with 1-2 tbs olive or flax seed oil (or ½ avocado) and the juice of ½ lemon or lime. Consume 1 protein drink mixed, as follows: 12 oz pure water, 5 tbs high-quality whey or egg white protein powder, Stir and drink slowly

NOTE: Drink an 8- to 12-ounce glass of water one hour after you consume each fruit meal. (If this doesn’t quench your thirst, you may consume more water.)

omg I can't stop eating.
Gonna be posting food logs elsewhere from now on. buuut will probably keep using this journal for random reasons.

I decided I'm gonna do some cosplays for Summer Comiket... this means (a) another reason to lose weight and (b) sewing projects!!!  Just gotta decide which characters.

More helpful little lists!!  Striking out stuff I'm allergic to or just not going to eat...

Women need about 45g of protein a day (more if pregnant, lactating or very active)

• Nuts: hazels, brazils, almonds, cashews, walnuts, pine kernels etc.
• Seeds: sesame, pumpkin, sunflower, linseeds.
• Pulses: peas, beans, lentils, peanuts.
• Grains/cereals: wheat (in bread, flour, pasta etc), barley, rye, oats, millet, maize (sweetcorn), rice.
• Soy products: tofu, tempeh, textured vegetable protein, veggieburgers, soy milk.
• Dairy products: milk, cheese, yoghurt (butter and cream are very poor sources of protein).
• Free range eggs.

I dunno why but it really irritates me when it's written "soya" instead of "soy." I think it's a British thing?  Anyway, I changed it to soy. XD

Vitamin A (or beta carotene): Red, orange or yellow vegetables like carrots and tomatoes, leafy green vegetables and fruits like apricots and peaches. It is added to most margarines.

B Vitamins: This group of vitamins includes B1 (thiamin), B2 (riboflavin), B3 (niacin), B6 (pyridoxine), B12 (cyanocobalmin), folate, pantothenic acid and biotin.

All the B vitamins except B12 occur in yeasts and whole cereals (especially wheat germ), nuts & seeds, pulses and green vegetables.

Vitamin B12 is the only one that may cause some difficulty as it is not present in plant foods. Only very tiny amounts of B12 are needed and vegetarians usually get this from dairy produce and free range eggs. It is sensible for vegans and vegetarians who consume few animal foods to incorporate some B12 fortified foods in their diet. Vitamin B12 is added to yeast extracts, soy milks, veggieburgers and some breakfast cereals.

Vitamin C: Fresh fruit, salad vegetables, all leafy green vegetables and potatoes.

Vitamin D: This is vitamin is not found in plant foods but humans can make their own when skin is exposed to sunlight. It is also added to most margarines and is present in milk, cheese and butter. These sources are usually adequate for healthy adults. The very young, the very old and anyone confined indoors would be wise to take a vitamin D supplement especially if they consume very few dairy products.

Vitamin E: Vegetable oil, wholegrain cereals, eggs.

Vitamin K: Fresh vegetables, cereals and bacterial synthesis in the intestine.

Aaand minerals

Calcium: Important for healthy bones and teeth. Found in dairy produce, leafy green vegetables, bread, tap water in hard water areas, nuts and seeds (especially sesame seeds), dried fruits, cheese. Vitamin D helps calcium to be absorbed.

Iron: Needed for red blood cells. Found in leafy green vegetables, wholemeal bread, molasses, eggs, dried fruits (especially apricots and figs), lentils and pulses. Vegetable sources of iron are not as easily absorbed as animal sources, but a good intake of vitamin C will enhance absorption.

Zinc: Plays a major role in many enzyme reactions and the immune system. Found in green vegetables, cheese, sesame and pumpkin seeds, lentils and wholegrain cereals.

Iodine: Present in vegetables, but the quantity depends on how rich the soil is in iodine. Dairy products also have plenty of iodine. Sea vegetables are a good source of iodine for vegans.

Weight's still up.  But down from yesterday even though I had a very late dinner, because I did a capoeira class... omg that was fun, but really hard. My legs hurt so much today =D

Breakfast - same  = 260
Lunch - salad, pineapple
Snack - coffee, ham/cheese sandwich, biscuit

Breakfast - same berries/almonds/fax, coffee & soy milk, supplements = 260

Weight went up... well, that's what I get. =P

Lunch - veg salad, juice (x 1.5)
snack - candy bar (!!), coffee
walking from Shinj and then running to Nakano, lol
capoeira class!!
Late dinner - mini katsu sandwich, tea, chocolate (!!)

CW: 66.0 kg / 145.50 lbs.   -_-;;
TW1: under 63 kg/138 lbs. (May 5)

Breakfast - same berries/almonds/fax, coffee & soy milk, supplements = 260

okaaay I'm officially frustrated. Not gonna make my goal.  Damnit!!!  Well, I know what I have to do, I have to add work-outs o.o;; even if I feel exhausted. I can't really eat less because that's just not gonna work. Grown-up with a job, etc., etc.

Rest of the day
Lunch in Okubo - Korean foods (miso soup, kimchee, toppoki, pulgoki and kimchee norimaki)
1/2 a can of cinnamon-dried persimmon-lemon drink
blend coffee in Shibuya
Dinner: I pigged out.. ugh.. 2 onigiri, mini ham/egg sandwich, green tea, potato chips (-.-;;), a cookie, and coffee Kit-Kat bar. gross!

CW: 66.0 kg / 145.50 lbs.   -_-;;
TW1: under 63 kg/138 lbs. (May 5)

Breakfast - 7 medium strawberries (27), 15 blueberries (13), 12 almonds (90), 1 tbsp flax seed (40), supplements 15 + vitamin C supplement 5 cals (20), coffee & soy milk (70) = 260
Lunch - miso soup w/veg (50??), 五目野菜 (150??)
Snack - coffee (117)
Dinner - grande soy latte (170), ham/cheese sandwich (374)

Total: 1121
just guessing on lunch but it was small portions of just veggies...

CW: 66.0 kg / 145.50 lbs.   Ugh haet :(
TW1: under 63 kg/138 lbs. (May 5)

Breakfast - 1 banana (105), 15 blueberries (13), 10 raspberries (10), 1 tbsp flax seed (40), splash soy milk (30?), coffee & soy milk (70), supplements (15) = 283
Snack - wafer cookie (70)
Lunch - spinach and egg saute (126)
Snack - kiwi banana drink (215), 2 mini-taiyaki (75??), croque-pan (200??)
Dinner - small vanilla soy latte (115), tuna veggie sandwich (385)

Total: 1469 abunaaaaiii

CW: 65.8 kg / 145.06 lbs.
TW1: under 63 kg/138 lbs. (May 5)

Breakfast - 1 banana (105), 4 small strawberries (9), 15 blueberries (13), 10 raspberries (10), 4 almonds (30), 1 tbsp flax seed (40), splash soy milk (30?), coffee & soy milk (70), supplements (15) = 322
I wanted to make a smoothie but couldn't find all the pieces of the blender...  sigh, shared living.

Walk to work (100 minutes) = ~ -500

Lunch - same veggies (90), dressing (15)
Snack - at karaoke ^^ 3 small coffee (70??), 2 ukon-cha (0)
Dinner at Otoya - kimchee namuru (71), tofu (91)

Total: 659 - 500 walking (really? I doubt it) = 159 lol


( measurements )

CW: 66.0 kg / 145.50 lbs.
TW1: under 63 kg/138 lbs. (May 5)

Breakfast - same berries/nuts, coffee/soy milk, supplements = ~220

Walking to work (~100 minutes) = ~ -500 calories

Snack - chocolate チョコづくし 384 (15.5g of fat! omg!)
Lunch - same veggies (90), dressing (15), tuna genmai onigiri (~225) = ~330

Walking from work (~100 minutes) = ~ -500 calories

Dinnerish - Dotour vanilla soy latte (138), Vie de France banana danish (353), crispy piroshki (175???) = ~666 calories of pure death
Sinto banana-kiwi drink = 215

Total calories: 815

Hmm. lol.  My stomach hurts so badly right now from eating all of the above "dinnerish" stuff (it probably doesn't help that all but the coffee I ate while I continued to walk home).  And I really don't know if that is an accurate estimate of the calories burned while walking or not.  I didn't walk at a snail's pace but I wouldn't call it "walking briskly" either because I was exhausted toward the end in the morning and basically the whole time going back...

Gonna try to work out tonight if I feel more energetic later because I don't want to be fatter tomorrow... but right now I'm so tired, I just want to sleep, and it's 5:45 p.m.

CW: 66.2 kg / 145.94 lbs.
TW1: under 63 kg/138 lbs. (May 5)

Breakfast - same berries/nuts, coffee/soy milk, supplements = ~220
Lunch - same veggies (90), dressing (70) = ~160
Snack - banana (105), coffee (25) = ~130
Early dinner/snack 2 - can coffee (35), sekihan onigiri (225) = 260
Green tea (0)

Total: 770

CW: 66.6 kg / 146.82 lbs.
TW1: under 63 kg/138 lbs. (May 5)

Breakfast - 10 small strawberries (22), 15 blueberries (13), 12 almonds (90), coffee (10), organic soy milk (70)
+ supplements (15 calories)
calcium/vitamin D .77 cals + multi-vitamin 3.98 cals + vitamin E/fish oil 10 cals

Lunch: salad (broccoli - 50?, carrots - 25?, moyashi - 10?, cababage - 5?) - about 90 cals raw veggies
+ hardboiled egg

That seems like a lot of fat with both the egg and the almonds...  One hardboiled egg = 71% of your DV of cholesterol, wow.  But I need more protein... and calcium... maybe?

Estimated protein:  strawberries - 0.5 g +blueberries - 0.1 g +almonds - 3 g + broccoli - 4.3 g +carrot - 0.6 g + cabbage - 0.5 g + 1 hardboiled egg - protein 6.3 g = 15.3 g
Recommended daily value of protein for adult, based on 2000 calories/day diet : 50 g
Hmmm... lol

Estimated calcium: calcium supplement - 300 mg + soy milk - 10 mg + strawberries - 11.2 mg +blueberries - 1.3 +almonds - 39 mg +broccoli - 71 mg +carrot - 20 mg +cabbage - 20 mg +1 hardboiled egg - 25 mg = 497.5 mg
Recommended daily value of calcium for adult, based on 2000 calories/day diet: 1000 mg

Broccoli kicks ASS. And it looks like little trees!  Everybody wins!

rest of the day
lunch - above veggies (90), 1 cherry tomato ^^;; (5), sesame chinese-style dressing (69), orange juice (~200; didn't finish so less), hardboiled egg (67)
dinner - chicken caesar salad wrap (~160), blueberry scone (~335), soy caramel macchiato ^^;; (230)
semi-fail... i really wanted something sweet ;.;
total for the day: 1376

Two trips on the itinerary for 2009 so far.

Going to visit family in July. Albuquerque, New Mexico; not the most exotic location but what it does have is lots of really great antique and thrift stores if you like vintage stuff. Last time I went back I got some amazing clothes for really cheap... the problem of course is that they are still tight on me because I haven't lost any weight since then.

I'm determined again.

More exciting: OKINAWA, hopefully in September. I'd go sooner but I know I won't have money with the America trip and all, and everybody has nearly a week off because the government rearranged some federal holidays. (Of course, this means everybody in Japan has those days off too and the airline prices will go up, but shouganai/c'est la vie)

Okinawa

OKINAWA!!!!

Means... swimwear XD;;
(omg normal-looking people! ...for Japan, which means petite)

My close friend made me promise that we're both going to wear bikinis. Umm, I haven't worn a bikini since I was 7. My friend is nearly a foot taller than me and has recently gone from "slim/normal" to "definitely looks like a model." No pressure...


Down 4 pounds so far ... 11 more to meet my first goal, for the end of Golden Week.